dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize