After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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