Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
