have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
