I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
this is an emotional support booty call
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
