i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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