you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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