never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
