i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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