it was like his penis was on wheels.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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