strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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