Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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