I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
