Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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