this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
