Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
