I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
