it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this boner is exhausting
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
