forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
