I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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