My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize