i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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