susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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