highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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