i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
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