We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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