PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
