I just made out with a guy for $7.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize