Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have post one night stand depression
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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