How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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