another moral hangover. fuck.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
