I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so let's talk penis.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
