Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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