We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
