shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
