CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
