I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
