As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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