If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
