At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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