I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
