Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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