Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
