It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize