guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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