i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
