So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
