Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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