Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
