Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
