Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
