they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
