I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
