I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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