i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
