Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dicks are not precious.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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