You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
