i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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