she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Be still, my beating vagina.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
