Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
